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Little Lester J.Quigglemeyer didn't know what horrors he was in for

when he went to watch his favorite movie of all time at the local theater.

 

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            The Beast from Beyond Infinity!!!

            This ominous title belonged to the movie extravaganza of the Century!  That is, as far as little Lester J. Quigglemeyer was concerned, while the unconcerned populace of the rest of the USA was busy with more important things.  With his Coke-bottle glasses and Fuller bush red hair, little Lester could not wait one second more. He had to dash off to the theater on the first day of the Grand Opening. That’s all there was to it! And of all days, it premiered on the first Saturday morning of Summer!

And he couldn’t even wait for the sequel: The Return of the Beast from Beyond Infinity, it would probably be called. If there were ever to be a sequel B which there just had to be, he was determined. His stubborn imagination wouldn’t take “NO!” for an answer! For little bucktoothed Lester J. Quigglemeyer was all too sure there would be a sequel. He had his hopes up too high, after all. He always did for such monumental occasions such as this.  And was he ever disappointed?

Well, he didn’t want to think about that. He was a blind optimist. Too naive to be pessimistic.

Little freckle-faced Lester J Quigglemeyer finally had his long awaited chance. He lifted his orange piggy bank and smashed it wide open on his bed post like a ceramic piñata, as tiny treasures sprayed forth from it and scattered all over his blue carpet. On hands and knees, he groped about under bed and dresser, or around plastic or wooden toys, collecting the silver glistening nickels, dimes and quarters, and even shimmering copper pennies. He counted up five dollars and seventy-two cents.  He had enough for the dollar-fifty movie and snacks and a drink!

He shoved the handful of coins into his jeans pockets and ran out the front door forgetting to say good-bye to his mother B for if he had only known his future outcome, he surely would have.

 

Ten-year-old little Lester J. Quigglemeyer sprinted as fast as he could toward the Majesty  Theater down on Central Boulevard and Thirteenth Street B and it was only a few minutes after 6:00 a.m.! Six whole hours prior to the first grand opening showing of the fabulously spectacular The Beast from Beyond Infinity!!! It would premier for the very first time in the whole wide universe! And little Lester wanted to be first in line! That would really top it off! The very first human being to get in first and see this extravagant epic movie for the very first time! He was so exited over the preposterous prospect!

So when he arrived B dashing down Oliver Street and across Thirteenth Street B he was horribly disappointed! For he witnessed a long, long, long line of movie-hungry horror fans already ahead of him!  For the never-ending trail of big and small kids stretched down the Central Boulevard sidewalk next to the huge, red brick Majesty Theater.

It just wasn’t fair! He came six hours early! What right did these other selfish kids have to be ahead of him? And he had to wait the whole six hours just like the rest of these poor fools before this long awaited electrifying, phenomenal  horror movie began. What an awful letdown!

He hid behind an overflowing trash can at the end of Oliver Street, out of sight of the multitude of wretched kids across the street. He thought long and hard. Then he slammed his little fist into his little palm, for he had a brilliant idea!

But he would have to wait a few hours in order to initiate his clever scheme.

Time crept by . . .  slowly . . . as time does when you wish it to move fast. Slowly . . .  But surely . . .

Then the time came.  He snuck over to the rear of the theater where the two exit doors were positioned, and he slid behind the bushes right outside one of those ominous orange exit doors. There he waited, biting his fingernails down to bloody stubs.  He waited, like a beast ready to pounce. For the midmorning audience caged within was presently watching some old Frankenstein flick.  

Then, at 11:30 a.m., like a miracle, the double doors magically flung wide as a barrage of screaming kids rumbled out like a wild herd of buffaloes on the rampage. He jumped out of the bushes and into the running crowd, blending in B yet just as readily, he stopped suddenly and cried, “HOLY CRAP! MY WALLET! I MUST’VE LEFT IT INSIDE!”

People crashed into him, but he managed to plough his way back to the exit doorway and over to a red and white uniformed theater attendant on the guard. 

Lester hollered, ADidja hear me, mister? I said I left my--”

“Yes, I heard you. Hurry up and get it before someone else does,” the gangly, pimply teenager snapped.

 “Oh, thanks so much, sir!”

The crowd had subsided by now, so he slipped into the huge, dimly lit auditorium of ten thousand comfortable rocking-chair seats. He ran up the isle, dodging people, then rushed into the restroom for some unmentionable business he had to take care of that he couldn’t accomplish for the last five and a half hours of sheer waiting.  Besides, the restroom always served as a clever diversion from watchful attendants, which he had used before between watching two or three flicks in a row. Lester always figured why pay for more than one movie when you were already in the theater.  

Little Lester J. Quigglemeyer left the restroom and returned to the large chamber of horrors he had come from, where people, old and young, were already seating themselves. But there was plenty of room left. But he had gotten in first! He assured himself of that fact! So he claimed a seat near the front, his favorite row! Right up close where you could always see the phony ketchup-blood and oozing hamburger-brains all over the big screen!

Holy crap! He had forgotten his refreshments! So he jumped up out of his seat and ran up the isle to the concession stand.

 

He returned with two big tubs of large, hot, buttered popcorn, a tall root beer, a box of chocolate mints, another box of strawberry liquorice sticks, and yet another box of butter-brickle, along with a sizzling hot hot dog smothered with ketchup, mustard, mayo and relish. He was all set! Except for one problem.  Almost all the seats were taken! Especially all the front ones! Darn! While the dim ceiling lights were still on, he scanned quickly up and down the isles, and spotted one empty seat in the very last row! Holy crap! To be stuck back at the rear! Darn! What a horrible place to sit during the world’s greatest movie ever! And he had even gotten in ahead of the long awaiting crowd! Although under very sneaky circumstances. In his book cheaters were winners.

Oh well.  He had no choice now. While frowning angrily, he squirmed by the already seated kids and teenagers, squeezing by knees and legs and refreshments, as he held his own as high as he could in his clenching arms, spilling popcorn on a few kids that poked him and yelled for him to get his rear out of the way. Finally, after withstanding the gauntlet, he arrived at that one rear seat and plopped down  into its soft cushion. To safety at last! He sighed and relaxed, grinning from ear to ear. Then little Lester began stuffing his face with hot buttered popcorn and hot dog and root beer to begin with.

Suddenly the lights died out and everyone cheered, screamed, and applauded. But, alas, they had to wade through a stupid automobile advertisement for Otto’s Autos out on Mercury Avenue, plus three previews of coming attractions B none of which were the sequel to his favorite movie of all time. He frowned at that.

Then, suddenly, as the monumental title filled the awesome silver screen, a bright yellow THE BEAST FROM BEYOND INFINITY!!! upon an inky black background, the audience cheered and hollered and whistled and applauded insanely, louder than before, drowning out the shrill and eerie orchestrated theme song. The name of Lester’s favorite actor of all time flashed on the screen next, Matt Lock, as teenage girls hooted and hollered. Then the name of some saucy dish he had seen before in other flicks, Lori Lacy, flashed up there, and the teenage guys hooted and hollered now, along with some sexist wild whistling.

And then it began B with some phony baloney yet almost believable outer space scene along with some short introductory narration by some sinister gravelly male voice, declaring, ABeware! For if you remain in your seats for too long, the Beast from beyond infinity shall devour you! For if even one solitary soul remains, than all shall surely perish!”   Then maniacal laughter belted forth as some god-awful ugly multi-eyed, a hundred tentacled globby monstrosity appeared on the screen, causing thousands of innocent spectators to scream with playful terror. However, little Lester Q. Quigglemeyer must have screamed the loudest, dumping over one of his popcorn tubs.

AHoly crap!” he grumbled, bending down to pick it up, leaving the scattered remains on the candy sticky, pop-drenched pre-littered floor.

He noticed that several children jumped out of their seats and ran down the isle as the horrible monster swung back by again across the wide screen, and they dashed out the exit door just in time.  Little Lester snickered, APansies!”  For he felt he was brave and bold. He was a horror flick buff from way back. His very first horror flick -- at age five -- that scared the horsepucky out of him was The Return of the Mummy’s Left Hand. But after that, he was hooked on horror for life! To scare the crap out of himself was now his life’s goal!

As the minutes buzzed by, as the horrible beast with Hollywood mechanical moving parts ate spacemen and devoured space ships and space stations galore, more and more kids, big and small, left the theater. Lester found his head twisting this way and that, watching horrified youngsters tearing out of there in such a hurry, while others cowered in their seats, whimpering, trembling, crying, mostly girls and little ones, until the next barrage of people left. What? Did they think that crazy narrator was serious with his idle threat? What gullible kids!

However, brave little Lester J. Quigglemeyer remained. He sat there in his soft seat, behind  his big tubs of half eaten ( and half spilled) hot buttered popcorn, his cardboard cup of root beer, and his three types of candies. He had long since devoured his hot dog, as if he was the maddeningly hungry people-gobbling beast itself.  He smiled at that. In his blind optimism he imagined that he had the guts that no one else had to stick it out, to witness such grandiose, gruesome horror on such a humongous screen, with ear-shattering loud ASurround-around” speakers in every corner blasting horrible monster screaming and shriekingly eerie music. Not to mention the monster’s victims were being eaten alive while screaming bloody murder. Little Lester loved every bloody minute of the ghastly grisly spectacle. Why, he knew the blood that spewed from the victims was bright red ketchup or something, and the oozing guts must be spaghetti sauce with noodles or something Italian. Snapping bones must have been balsa wood or some other danged thing. But when human heads were cracked like walnuts in the monster’s awesome jaws, it sure seemed real. He couldn’t figure out how they did that. It couldn’t be real! Or could it?

Lester suddenly hunched down in his seat, shivering, squeezing his eyes closed. It sure looked real, but it couldn’t be! He even lost his appetite now. The shrieking monster and screaming victims and munching and gobbling was too much and too real sounding now. The music had disappeared too, which made the horrifying heinous sounds seem even more real!  Hordes of people leaped out of their seats and rushed like screaming maniacs out the conveniently located exit doors.

Frightened little Lester J. Quigglemeyer slowly sat back up in his seat. He looked around. Only seven or eight brave people remained, scattered here and there across the seeming larger than ever auditorium.

The movie seemed to be grinding to an end. The beast from beyond infinity had grown colossally huge, and now it began devouring planets and stars! Where had Lester’s award-winning favorite actor Matt Lock gone?  Had he gotten eaten alive too? Along with Lori Lacy?

Suddenly, the horrible monster had caused such a earsplitting, spine-tingling sound as it gobbled down planets and stars and comets and hunks out of whole galaxies which in turn exploded as he tore into them. Amidst all the deafening beastly shrieking and ear-shattering galactic kabooms,

it was all too much for little Lester J. Quigglemeyer, as he cupped his hands over his ears tightly and crouched all the way down to the sticky, gooey floor.

Then, suddenly, all was completely silent. It was so quiet, you could hear a pin Bwell, of course B drop. If anyone was left to drop it.  Little Lester trembled, sweated, and whimpered. This must be the end of the movie.  So he slowly raised himself up from the wretched floor, peeked up over the front seat, and looked at the screen: a starless, jet black scene. Yes, there were no stars, no galaxies, no monster, no screaming, no sound, no music, no credits,  no nothing!  Especially no screaming from the audience! Holy crap! No audience!

Lester looked frantically around and saw no one in here at all! The huge colossal auditorium was completely empty! Except for the cowering little Lester J. Quigglemeyer. Why had everyone left, he pondered?  It was just a movie after all. Just a silly horror movie.

Then suddenly!

 

 

Amidst all the infinity of spacious nothingness, AIt” was at last all alone. It had vanquished all. Everything. Everywhere. There was nothing left.

Wait!

It saw something with all of its bulging eyes, a tiny glimmering rectangle, off in the distance of stark inky nothingness. A window in space, a portal to another dimension, perhaps. It quickly moved across the face of the void, rushing over to this curious little four cornered shape in the midst of deep dark space. It soared up to the little rectangle to devour this somethingness amidst the nothingness. And it plunged through!

B It leapt through the silver screen! Lester J. Quigglemeyer screamed with such lug-wrenching force, the sheer shock of it alone should have killed him, yet the Beast got him first, and all else that remained . . .

 

Space . . . .

The complete vacuum of space . . .

Absolute infinite space . . . .                                                                                                     

Nothing else existed, for AIt” had devoured everything. The merciless Beast had accomplished its sinister job. And now it had only to return home . . .  From beyond infinity itself. And exactly what that really was, no one knew, or would ever know, for there was no one left to know. Not one single person in the whole wide universe. Thanks to little Lester J.Quigglemeyer who did not heed the blatant warning. For he stubbornly remained in his seat until the very end, the very end of time itself. So much for blind optimism.  Perhaps he should have listened to the narrator and his horrible message:                

ABeware! For if you remain in your seats for too long, the Beast from beyond infinity shall devour you! For if even one solitary soul remains, than all shall surely perish!”

Indeed!

Thank you very much, little ten-year-old, bucktoothed, freckle-faced Lester J.Quigglemeyer with the Coke-bottle glasses and Fuller bush red hair.  Thanks for nothing!!!

 

 

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Epilogue

 

In an icy cold sweat from hell, he awakened swiflty B as if he just woke up from inside a refrigerator. But it was only his bed.

AHoly crap!” he shot. AWow! It was just a freaking dream!”

Yes, just a simple, harmless, nightmarish dream of impossible proportions.  Or was it? A warning from beyond infinity itself? 

He wondered . . . . He pondered . . .  He speculated . . .

Nah! How stupid! he thought.

He looked at his Mickey Mouse clock which read almost 6:00 a.m. Yikes! Forget about sleep now! He was wide awake! Saturday mornings always meant sleep in! But not this particular Saturday morning.